Looking for a New Van TODAY!

 Mom's car needs more work than I'm willing to put into it, so TODAY, I'm off in about 30 minutes to search for a new van!

I'm really excited!

Stay tuned!

Living With Less Equals FREEDOM!

 After I was diagnosed with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, my specialist gave me two options; 1) chemical chelation or 2) long distance walking. After some research I decided I would try long-distance walking, but where to walk? Both the Pacific Crest Trail and the Appalachian Trail required more planning than I had the energy for. At this point, I could barely get out of bed without pain.  Also, those weren't really trails I felt safe walking alone. My partner at the time had grown up Catholic and he said, "What about the Camino Santiago?"

I said, "Huh? What is THAT?"

Long story short, he explained - we flew to Spain - and that was the first of 21 times I've walked the Camino Santiago. I walked 6 hours every day for 6 weeks, and at the end of the trip, felt as near to "normal" as I had felt in years.  I decided to do it EVERY year and in order to afford that, began taking groups on the Camino, which I continued to do up until COVID struck. 

What I learned on the Camino was just how happy I could be with nothing but what I could carry on my back in a pack.

1 change of clothes, a toothbrush and paste, a comb, and not much else. After all these years, I've gotten the total weight of my backpack down to 12-14 pounds. 

And THAT set me up for living out of my car, and then my van.

For me, the secret to happy vanning is minimalism.

I have seen so many people smothering in "stuff" in their van. 

The thing is, for me, just to take what you NEED, and then to keep those things very organized and out of the way so you aren't cramped. I am a Leo and I like to spread out - I don't like being penned in.  So the longer I lived out of my van, the more I got rid of, until I finally found what worked for me.

People will make lists of things you "need."

I fell for that... in the beginning ... and you know what? I've gotten rid of nearly ALL those things I was told I "needed."

So my advice is this. 
Start small.
Take ONLY what you really need for a week.
Then slowly add to it as you find you really NEED things.

For instance, I was told I needed a battery operated shower, so I bought one.
I've used it twice.
I just don't need it. 
There are free or inexpensive showers nearly everywhere I've camped.

People said, "You need a shovel."
I've never used one.

You need an oven, a tv, a "fill in the blank."

Don't fall for it.

What you NEED is a warm bed to sleep in, an outfit to wear and one extra, a warm jacket, sturdy shoes, enough underwear and socks to change every day for a week, a pan to wash in, something to boil water or cook on, a pot, a skillet, a plate, a fork, a knife, a spoon, a cup, a solar lamp or flashlight, food and water, a book to read or a musical instrument to play, or art makings, a phone and a way to charge it. And if you'll be in cold weather, a heat source of some kind for early mornings. 

Everything else is dessert!

In Search of another Van!

 Well, today I began a search for another van.

I've decided to use whatever money we get from the government next month to pay off my debt entirely. Then I can put nearly my whole check each month in savings for another van.

Even though I'm stuck in a sticks/bricks for now caring for mom, I think it will do my soul good to have a van to get away for a few days now and then. I also know once mom decides to go into Assisted Living or "whatever," I will sell this house and buy a larger rig, probably a small Class B. But for NOW, I need an escape. 

I'm looking again at Toyota Siennas. It seemed to be the perfect minivan, and with the experience I gained in the years I lived out of mine, I think I will be quite happy with it until I can afford something larger.

So.... stay tuned!

Stay safe!

Stay warm!

and Happy New Year Vanners!

My Experience with Thousand Trails

 A couple of years ago I decided I might get a Thousand Trails membership so I'd always have a safe place to camp. This was before I really had much experience van dwelling and was still a little nervous.

I called a salesperson, and I told them I was in a van. They told me as long as I pitched a tent next to my van, I should have no problems and I paid about $500 for a membership.

I took my van to the first Thousand Trails up near Cape Mears. 
No problem getting in, BUT most of the toilets and showers were locked up.
Spaces were VERY close together,And there was (literally) no internet or cell service anywhere on the property.

Internet was important as was cell service as I had an elderly mother I needed to stay in touch with.

Next stop was down the Oregon Coast near Newport.

Drove up to the check-in.

The fellow says, "Where is your RV?"

I replied, "This IS my RV"

He said, "No vans allowed. You need an RV."

I explained I had purchased the member ship and had a tent.

He said I MUST park in a tent space, and I MUST sleep in the tent and if I did not, I would be kicked out. 

Whoah!

So I stayed one night. Again there was NO cell service and NO internet except up at the office.

Next day I called and cancelled my membership and demanded a refund, which they gave me.

If internet and cell service are important to you and unless you have "real" RV, you may want to think twice before signing up.

And that's my story ::grin:::

Love,

Annie

Things I Own and Need to Let Go Of

 So here I am stuck in a house :::laughing::: trying to remember how this works.

The first thing I did was unpack the dozen or so boxes of things I'd stored in my son's garage... things I LOVED!

It has been like Christmas!

However, I realize now that if I want to get back on the road, a lot of this is going to have to go away or be put in storage again. So I've begun selling it off, piece by piece. First thing to go was my ArcHaus, which I rarely used.

I have unpacked all my art supplies into a room I'm calling my studio. Haven't yet had a chance to do much drawing, but hoping to get back to it soon. Here's a little French Bulldog I've been working on for too long! Covid has made it impossible to put business cards around. I'll be SO glad when this damned pandemic is over!

My studio has a lot things I love in it, and so does my bedroom.

I have two rooms in the house I consider "mine." 

The rest is my mother's house.

Here are the things in my studio.

Ancestor photos are important to me. I knew nearly all of these grandparents, and this month my family does a Remembrance Rite on November 1, where we talk about each one and light candles for those friends and relatives who have passed on this year. But this month, they're on my wall so I can see them every day and think about them.  

My wall of tools. 

I think I will probably sell a lot of these. 

I don't plan on making jewelry anymore, and I have tons of findings and stones

from my early days camping in Quartzsite. But it's just too much to carry around and frankly, my colored pencils and paper take up less space and weigh less. 
Cutting tools and rulers will most likely go into storage.

My colored pencils will go in the van with me.

I kept the flat cases - and probably have about 5 sets of various types of pencils.

Some of my watercolor brushes will go with me.

Some will go in storage.

This is my altar. 

It changes with the seasons. 

Usually my Lady of Fatima is on it, 

but she's being repaired right now.

I imagine most of this will go into storage.

These two waterbird paintings were the two that I kept and will probably put into storage again. The conch shell is used for ritual and one of my children will hold it for me. There are art supplies in the cabinet that will probably get sold, along with the cabinet.

Here is my BIG problem. 
I have knitting needles, embroidery supplies, clay, 

a set of Acutonic Tuning Forks and coursework,

a set of cupping tools,

a serger, a sewing machine, tons of various expensive papers for art,

and a boatload of books and binders.

I've decided that while I'm stuck in the house, I'll read one book at a time, then get rid of it. The binders are a BOTA course that I love and will keep. The serger will be sold. The knitting supplies will most likely be sold. The clay supplies will be sold. The two bank boxes are full of genealogy - I need to deal with those while I'm in the house and either take them to be put on disk, or give them to a grandchild. 

When I look at THIS, I get a bit overwhelmed...

I love this plaque and will take it in my van.

The mermaid is a needlefelted one that I made, 

and she's up for grabs to a good home.

This is HALF of all my possessions.

The rest are in my bedroom, 

but my ex is sleeping in there tonight.

Tomorrow, I will photograph those items.

Much of what is in there are rocks and metaphysical crystals

that I've collected over the years in QZ.

I can't keep lugging them around.

They will need to go way, except for a very few. 

It feels like so much...

but I plan on being cut-throat!

We'll see how I do...

Love,

Annie

Feeling HOPE Today

 Today I'm feeling more HOPEful!

My wonderful ex, Joe, is here painting the house all white and mom is actually saying, "I love it!"

That feels good. Finally, she may be happy.

I've reconnected with my van-dweller community and am looking forward to finding just the right van, selling the Lincoln (mom's car that she put into my name,) and at least being able to go out on the road a few days at a time to keep my sanity. It's a New Moon, so the time is right for formulating new intentions and re-evaluating existing ones.  I'm VERY good at manifesting what I want so things are looking up. 

I found a great box at a charity shop called H2O here in Dallas. It's a blue velvet box that reminds me of the dark night sky. I've decided it will be my manifestation box. Anything I put into it WILL BE. And so now I'm on the search for just the right van. I'll find a photo and put it in the box and watch this space, because it's GOING to come into my life! I believe it!

I haven't had much time for starting a new drawing. However, I unpacked a beautiful statue of Our Lady of Fatima that belonged to my great grandmother. I was sad to find her fingers had shattered in the move. So I'm in the process of repairing her. She is chalkware, so there are steps that must be taken. First, I glued any tiny pieces I could find back onto her hands. Next I painted all the exposed chalkware with shellac because if you don't do that, the plaster in the statue will absorb water from the new plaster. So that's the stage I'm at now. Once this is dry, I'll add new plaster, let it dry, then carve it. After that, I'll repaint the repair. Stay tuned. In this photo, you can see her broken fingers which have been reglued and painted with shellac.

Today I'm having a "Tea Party" on Zoom, reconnecting with some friends from Portland. I'm looking forward to it!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Love,

Annie

Feeling a LOT of Regret

 

So it's 3 months later and a lot has happened. I'm feeling depressed and whiney today so pardon my mood, but it is what it is.

If you follow my blog, you know my mom fell for the 3d time and she agreed she could no longer stay alone. She agreed to move to Oregon if I'd stay with her and help her. I knew in my gut... I knew in my gut... I knew in my gut it was a mistake, but I felt responsible. I also admit to feeling she owed me something after abandoning me as a child, and leaving me her house might make my future more secure. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!

Soooooo, here's how it's all turning out.  

We put mom's house in CA up for sale and it sold within 24 hours. My son found a house in OR that fit our needs, and so we put an offer of cash contingent upon her house in CA closing escrow, and upon our seeing the house when we arrived in OR.

We packed everything up and rented a big U-Haul truck.  We hired movers, who failed to show up on the day we were to leave. And so my son, a neighbor, and I ended up loading everything into the truck. Mom had so much "stuff" that we couldn't get it all into the truck, and so had to leave some.  The same day, my son drove my mom's car and my mom, and I drove the truck, and we headed north to Oregon.

We stopped at a hotel for one night then continued on. 

Arriving in Oregon, we stayed with my son and his husband in their beautiful home, expecting to be able to move into our new house within a couple of weeks. We had gone to see the house, and it seemed perfect! We called to turn off utilities in CA, and booked a truck for the short move from my son's house to the new house and were getting ready to go, when we got a call from the real estate agent in CA. The buyers were backing out THE DAY BEFORE CLOSING!  WTF!? And the REASON?  She sent me a text, which I did not respond to which basically said her 3 children refused to leave the grandparents house. The children (none of whom could be more than 6 or 8 years old as this woman was about 26) said they didn't like the new house and refused to move in. WHAT?! She said she couldn't bear to leave the kids with their grandparents. WHAT?!  What about grabbing the little snots up and telling them, "We're going!"??? Anyway... that wasn't fun. 

We had the agent put the house up for sale again, and again it sold within 24 hours. This month of waiting was stressful, wondering if the buyers would back out again, and we were biting our nails right up to the day of closing, which was Friday.

And finally, it closed.

Now... my mother... oh my gosh, she has been driving me to drink, literally. She has decided she hates the house. She hates the color (it was just completely repainted inside by the old owners), she wants white. She hates her bathroom, the counters are too small and the shower is "cheap looking." She hates her huge walk in closet (in her OLD house, she filled 4 bedroom closets with clothes she never wore!). She hates the flooring. She hates the carpet. She even hates the bark chips in the flower beds. She HATES and it's really dragging on my heart hearing it over and over and over. She wants to paint the whole inside, which will begin on Thursday. This should be interesting with my MCS. She wants to replace carpet, have her bathroom remodeled, and on and on and on.  And this is a BEAUTIFUL house. There is nothing wrong with it. What is wrong is my mother. She is NEVER happy!

So there's that.

Then there's housekeeping. In my van, housekeeping took at the most one hour and that's when I washed it inside and out.  Here there are 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a garage (which she SMOKES in), and a yard to keep up. (The gardener only mows.) I have cooking and laundry. And I'm still trying to recover from my double mastectomy. I'm exhausted.

Then there are the expenses. 

Holy SHIT!

When I lived out of my van, I paid for groceries, for gasoline (maybe $25/month), for water (8 gallons a week @50 cents per gallon), and occasional propane (under $20 every 2 to 3 months).

Since my mom wants me to split expenses with her, even though I only own 1/6 of this house, I did a budget yesterday and by the end of each month, I have (literally) nothing. In fact, I'm $2 over budget. That's because the house expenses include electricity, water, garbage, gardener, tv/internet, house insurance, and enough groceries to feed an army. I've fucking overwhelmed with this and sinking into a hole of depression.

She keeps reminding me I'll inherit this house. But you know what? It's like this to me. If somebody told you that they'd give you a MILLION dollars but the one catch was they'd hit your big toe with a hammer, and as soon as it started to heal, they would hit it again, and then again, and then again, would you take the money? Or would you say, "Fuck THAT!"

I'm at the "Fuck THAT" stage!

What to do? I don't know yet. But I do know I can't live this way. My plan is to wait a month or two to see exactly what the utilities will be and then negotiate with her. If she can't carry more of a share, she may be headed to assisted living. In the meantime, my budget includes putting away $50/month into a savings account where I DO have the cash from the sale of my van stashed. I hope after negotiations, I can increase that to $200/month.

She put her car in my name because she no longer drives. I'm gonna sell that sucker as soon as I have the cash.

And I'm on the lookout for another van.

Sticks and bricks aren't all they're cracked up to be.

I miss my FREEDOM!

PS:  There HAVE been some fun moments. Unpacking my dozen boxes that have been in storage at my son's house was fun. Touching all the things I love. My rock collection. My art and crafting tools. My books. But I lived almost 3 years without those and didn't really miss them. I'm already looking at what I can sell. 

Farewell Old Friend

If I look exhausted, it's because I am.

Today is a sad day for me. I'm selling my minivan.

A lot has happened in my life this year, besides Coronavirus.

I went to Spain to walk, and had to rush home because of the virus.
I discovered breast cancer.
I had a double mastectomy.
While healing from that, I got news my elderly mother fell again.

I'm now in Hanford, CA.
We have sold mom's house and I have been packing up to move her up to Dallas, Oregon on August 7. We will find a house up there near the family for her to buy and I will be living with her now, caring for her, and continuing my own healing.

Doesn't look like I'll be doing much traveling for a year or two, so I sold the van to Homes On Wheels Association for a fair price, and hopefully, someone in need will receive a sweet little home on wheels.

I had planned on selling it and buying something larger anyway, but it's still hard to see it go.

Right now, I'm weary, worn out, and need some rest.
Once mom is settled, maybe I'll get another rig.
But until then, it's a stick built house for me.

So for now.. "Farewell Old Friend!  We've had some AWESOME adventures!
I'll miss you!"

Love,
Annie

Update

A short update. It's been 6 months since my last post. The lump turned out to be papillary invasive carcinoma. I had a double mastectomy on April 23 and am recovering nicely in my ex's condo until Autumn, when I'll get back on the road.

I'm feeling pretty darned good and am grateful to be alive.

Life is GOOD!

Love,
Annie

Taking a Break for Health Reasons

My son flew me to Portland, Oregon for Thanksgiving,
and I spent Christmas in Desert Hot Springs with my ex.

Christmas night was very cold in my little side bedroom.
I was lying on my side,
trying to get warm and ran my hand up my body,
and suddenly felt a large lump under my left breast.
Scared the poop out of me.

Next morning, I called around and found a doctor who would see me.
I went in and she checked me from head to toe.
She THINKS it is just an enlarged lymph node,
but the troubling part is she can't figure out WHY it's enlarged,
and it is in the position of lymph nodes that filter blood from the breasts.

So I'm going in on January 3 (Friday) for a mammogram
and an imaging test on the lump.

Keeping my fingers crossed!
I'll report back when I know more.
If all is well, I'm hoping to head to Quartzsite
for the RTR and WRTR next week.

Love,
Annie